Hello. It’s the start of week and the start of a fresh set of posts.

This week has truthfully been a blur. The week both began and ended with my new tradition sponsored by a friend from Corpus, our “Gay Aunt-Tea,” patent pending. I remembered something from our last call, in which there was talks about giving myself some grace as I was not doing well in a position without employment and was deep in a period of severe self-loathing. However since then this week has been all the more productive in terms of finding out what I have planned in the coming sixth months, even if I still have to find a job here for a little extra dosh.

I’ve been having a few really bizarre dreams as of late. I think I had my second “nuclear disaster” dream? The first one I remember incredibly vividly, even down to the heat that washed over my face watching the bombs drop on the Omaha City skyline, giving the night sky it’s very own sun. The second one was interesting in that I guess it was more of a helio-centric nuclear meltdown(?). I was standing on my balcony with my little sister and telling her that the sun was about to die. She told me she didn’t want to get sucked into a singularity and be helpless as our atoms stretched and pulled like taffy for both an infinite amount of time and merely a few seconds, unwriting our very existence before our eyes. She usually isn’t this irrational. In any case, I told her not to worry herself, that our sun was a special kind of star that was too small for a black hole. Instead, it would expand well past its usual size and completely overtake us in a blazing storm of solar heat and winds. That seemed to relieve her a bit.

I don’t think I want my dreams to be a recess of thoughts and ideas that I’d rather not dwell upon. After one-shot session of D&D, one of our friends told us to try lucid dreaming, as though it was as simple as simply selecting the option at the beginning of a sleep session. I don’t think I’ve ever had a lucid dream, I simply think that deep down my brain simply wants to put on a show and have movies starring me play. Sometimes they are horror movies. If there is anything I’ve learned from teaching Kindergarteners, it’s to just let the child put on their performance, even if it adheres to no particular structure of narration or has no discernable story beats. I mean, is it so hard for one of these kids to just read some Joseph Campbell? In any case, my inner instructor is just there to give a few vapid applause when the curtains go, even if the dream was less narrative structure and more admonishments of past embarrassments and mistakes. My favorite.

I look foreword to sleep. It was actually my dreams that inspired many of the writings and drawings that fill my sketchbook and Procreate file space, sometimes my own brain becomes a self-fulfilling Pinterest board of characters, monsters, and places. If I dream the rest of my life in stories without an ounce of lucidity or control, then I don’t think it’s that bad. My brain is pretty damn good at telling myself stories, and sometimes the stories cross the veil of sleep and into my notebook. It’s my hope that some other like-minded individuals resonate with these stories or just think they’re neat. I’m not picky.

In any case, this is going to be a good week. I hope it is for you too.

-Jimmi